Monthly Archives: November 2014
Etrian Odyssey Let’s Spank And Shadowrunner: Better than Baldur’s Gate II

This is the post I made on AnimeOTK a few minutes ago, repeated here for your viewing pleasure:

I’ll be starting to play Etrian Odyssey tomorrow, so here are the remaining three characters. Note that they are inspired by Zae’s suggestions, though I did take them and tweak them a bit. In particular, I’m replacing the mischievous bard with a mischievous hexer, mostly because I can’t write music, and I think the bard’s appeal would come out of there actually being concrete little ditties about this or that misadventure. While I could play it as the bard being hilariously bad at songwriting to justify any atrocious things I would write, the thought of trying to concoct songs, even bad ones, wearies me. On the other hand, having a playful hexer would be fun because it completely goes against their portraits, which are kind of creepy.

As for the alchemist, I decided to replace “grumpy and well-educated” with “spoiled rotten and well-educated,” mostly because Alchemy seems like the kind of profession a rich girl might take up, and we need some spoiled rotten in here somewhere.

Totally took the Protector idea unchanged, however.

If anyone has any suggestions or tweaks for the characters below (or if my party makeup is doomed to failure), let me know, and I’d be happy to make some changes.

Name: Gwendolyn Karter
Profession: Alchemist
Position: Switch
Age: 23
Bio: Gwendolyn is the insufferably spoiled brat child of some middling lord or other from a different town. As the only daughter in a family with three sons, her father doted on her like no other. Whatever she want, she got, and if
she didn’t get what she wanted, she threw a tantrum like no other. These days, she doesn’t throw quite so many tantrums. Instead, she just explains in exquisite detail why the person refusing her is an unsightly worm who shouldn’t
interfere with their betters if she thinks she can get away with it, and works some prank or other to ruin the other person’s day if she can’t. That being said, she is a gifted Alchemist, and the only time she is anything
approaching bearable is when she’s focused on Alchemy. And even then she’s just brusque and impatient rather than snotty.

Name: Samantha Star
Profession: Protector
Position: Mostly Bottom
Age: 28
Bio: Gwendolyn’s bodyguard. Samantha Star’s father is the bodyguard of Gwendolyn’s father, and it has been pounded into her from birth the importance of serving and protecting Gwendolyn. This includes taking responsibility for
any of Gwendolyn’s mischief that run the danger of being traced back to her. She is calm, quiet, and unassuming. Pretty much the exact opposite of Gwendolyn. She treats Gwendolyn with deference, and Gwendolyn eats it up, treating
Samantha as her own personal manservant. Gwendolyn also doesn’t seem all that appreciative of Samantha’s unfailing loyalty. She takes Samantha for granted and has no inkling of how helpless she’d be without the quiet Protector.

Name: Wendy “Hexy” Wellington
Profession: Bard
Position: Mostly Bottom
Age: 18
Bio: An obnoxiously cheerful, and cheeky brat. She’s a friend of Allison’s, and was babysat by Andrea. She vanished a few years ago when she started to develop uncontrolled hexing talent. She’s recently returned, completely
out of the blue. She takes a ton of delight in messing with people. One of her favorites is to act overly melodramatic and creepy, playing to Hexer stereotypes. Of course, she can’t maintain it for very. She hates it when people
get all melodramatic and serious, and will try to lighten the mood. Of course, her “lightening” usually consists of casting some harmless hex on one of her teammates (such as making them trip into the mud, or lose their pants, etc),
much to her teammates’ chagrin. She’s also a very fast talker, and will try to talk her way out of a punishment. In short, whereas Gwendolyn has a cruel streak to her pranks, Wendy has a more playful streak.

————-End AnimeOTK post——————–

Also, this is completely unrelated, but I’ve taken the past week off from Potion Wars (been writing like a fiend, and needed a break) and I’ve been playing Shadowrunner Returns.

It is amazing. Seriously, this game is the closest I’ve ever come to my ideal RPG:
 1. Gameplay that is challenging enough to keep me engaged, but not so challenging that I have to restart half a dozen times.

2. Gameplay that is deep enough that it’s not just a click fest (in particular, the true depth in this game comes from finding cover and positioning your characters properly. Whoever has the superior position has a HUGE impact on battle).

3. Status spells that are actually useful. Damage spells that can do some damage.

4. An AMAZING setting. It’s this mind-blowing combination of cyberpunk, high fantasy, science fiction, and pulpy detective novels (my favorite character type is a fast, smart, pistol-toting hacker-type called a decker).

5. Superb writing. The dialogue is very well done. I love their slang. Unique, flows wonderfully, and the writers make an expert use of context to make the slang clear. Wish I could write slang like that. The stories (at least for the main campaign, and the expansion campaign) are also engrossing. Dead Man’s Switch isn’t anything particularly new, but it’s very well executed and the setting is unique enough that the core store doesn’t need to be. Haven’t finished Dragonfall yet, but that’s shaping up to be superior to Dead Man’s Switch in every way.

6. The quests are plots (including the subquests). It’s not just a bland “I need the Talisman of Muldour! Bring it to me!” It ‘s more like you have conversations with the characters, connect with them, and then they might ask for your help then, or later on. Plus, many of them build on themselves in a very natural and engrossing manner. Furthermore, just about every quest sheds some new light on the setting, so with each quest you feel like you understand a little bit more about the world these characters live in. Sure, they usually boil down to “kill that guy.” or “bring me that doohickey” but those are just the skeleton they use to shape the story.

6. Streamlined gameplay. I don’t waste time slogging through dozens of pointless subquests just to get strong enough to beat the main quest (hate subquest heavy games. 98% of those “hundreds of quests!” are filler). At any given time you have a main quest, and maybe one or two subquests, all of which are usually accomplished by taking one or two steps off the main quest’s path. I know some people like the whole “open world exploration” thing, but I don’t. Give me an engrossing plot, an interesting setting, and good gameplay over 100 areas and 200 inane sidequests any day. It’s not like you have any real choice in the open world games anyway, so why dilute the story pretending you do?

7. I create my own character. I want to play a female elven, pistol wielding decker? I can. I want to play a female human, pistol wielding decker? I can. There are other things I can be. Like male. Or a troll. Or a street samurai. But light footed deckers are way too much fun. Also I have some strange obsession with playing as a woman in all my games. Just so much more fun than playing a man. Don’t know why. Probably because I’m a man for the rest of my day, and I need a little variety.

8. Short animations. The graphics and music do an excellent job of capturing the setting, but the combat animations are fast and simple enough that they don’t slow things down. Furthermore, the game has high damage and low hitpoints, so combat is fast (plus it encourages you to use the terrain, your items, and your magic wisely).

The only major flaw is that the roleplaying is more in your head than in the game. Sure, your character periodically gets to respond to people, and they are very good responses. It feels like your character is actually talking to people instead of just blandly nodding and saying “uh-huh.” Plus, they do a great job of implementing the classic “I’m a kind person”, “Eh, whatevs”, “I are asshole!” triad. However, whichever response you pick, the other character will usually have a few sentences of difference, before returning to their main thread,completely unaffected by whatever you said. So your responses have a minimal impact on the flow of conversation. However, it’s a metric ton of work to have player responses have a real, noticeable impact on conversation. Plus, the flaw is pretty standard for the industry, regardless of the quality of the game, so it’s not a huge blow.

I’ve been enjoying this game so much that I’m thinking my next game will be in a similar cyberpunk-fantasy-science fiction mashup. Unfortunately, that’s years away, and I want to play with the setting now. But I don’t want to take time away from Potion Wars. SO, I’ve started concocting the premise for a series of short stories set in my own cyberpunk-science fiction-fantasy world. I’m currently working on the first story. The hope is that in between Potion Wars development (which remains my absolute top priority), and my Etrian Odyssey Let’s Spank, I’ll be able to write up a few stories here and there that let me build up this new setting. Hopefully, they’ll give me an opportunity to pull it away from its Shadowrunner roots, and give some nice background to my (very hypothetical and not at all guaranteed) future game.

That being said, Shadowrunner has a pretty crapsack world (it has to, because you basically play as a criminal, and it’s hard to make criminals sympathetic in light settings), so my world is also pretty crapsack (because you know, criminals), which means the plotlines will probably be a bit darker than the Etrian Odyssey Let’s Spank. Not sure where it will be in relation to Potion Wars, but probably a bit darker, because I don’t have Emily keeping me under control (still won’t go full Game of Thrones though. I want people to actually enjoy these things after all). Plus, while there will be sex and spankings, there won’t be as much emphasis on them as in Potion Wars. This is not a world where everyone is running around spanking everyone else. That being said, this is a spanking blog so I will strive to give every story at least one lovingly crafted spanking scene.

Let’s Spank Etrian Odyssey

Edit: I’ve uploaded new versions of the game with the bugs mentioned on the previous post (plus a few others that I found!) fixed. Also, I’ve discovered that the permissions on the Ubuntu executable downloaded from Mediafire are wonky, and I haven’t figured out a good way of fixing them (I love Ubuntu, but sometimes it really pisses me off). Basically, you can’t make the file executable by right-clicking on it, because you can’t get administrative privileges from the properties dialog, like you can in Windows. So in order to make Ubuntu recognize my game as an executable program, you need to open a command-line in the same directory as the executable and write:

~> sudo chmod +x PotionWars

Ubuntu will ask for your password (note that passwords do not appear when typed on the command-line. However, the computer is reading your keystrokes. Just type in your password and hit enter). Once you’ve provided your password, the program will be made executable.

So I recently went out and purchased a Nintendo DS and the first two Etrian Odyssey games (relatively modern old-school dungeon crawls, my favorite kind of RPG). Looking through the character classes I discovered that there is basically a dominatrix class called Dark Hunters:

Dark Hunters were the mistresses of sword and lash
Their binding skills could sway the tide of any clash
Their blades carried affliction with every slash
The monsters they faced reduced to cinders and ash

Complete with a dominatrixy outfit.

This got me thinking that it’d be kind of fun to do a Spanko Let’s Play (well more of a sequence of short stories inspired by the events in the game), with a group of adventurers led by a Dark Huntress who believes firmly in corporal punishment for wayward party members.

The way I currently envision it, it would be an F/F adventure with an all female party (because that’s my favorite pairing), with the Dark Huntress as a mostly top, and the other party members switches/bottoms (the Dark Huntress wouldn’t take kindly to others administering discipline without her approval).

I’d shoot for a bi-monthly update cycle (though a lot of that depends on how much time I get to play the game, and how much material each play session gives me).

I also want to try my hand at a more zany, over-the-top style as opposed to the more angsty tone of Potion Wars.

However, my primary focus will still be on Potion Wars, and if I need to cut back on spanko projects, this will be the one to go.

I’m looking for party member suggestions (I can have five characters in a party, so I’m looking for an additional four, all characters must be 18+). Suggestions would be much appreciated. Here are the other eight classes pulled directly from the manual:

The Landsnknecht had a sword that could cut you in twain
[Her] powerful might was known as the monster’s bane
With sword or axe, [she] caused the foul demons much pain
From the front line [she] lost count of the monsters slain

Survivalists were [mistresses] of the woodland lore
You’d mark them by the hats and the scarves that they wore
Their specialty was the firing the arrows that soared
The Labryinth explorers sought them for their corps

Protectors bore a shield in their holy quest
Under its aegis did her companions rest
This noble knight was up to the hardest of tests
No enemy could tarnish that virtuous crest

The Medics healed their wounded comrades in need
The poison stings and the injuries that bleed
At great expense did they perform their kind deeds
Their frailty prevented them taking the lead

The learned ones with magic were the Alchemists
The elements they controlled by flicking their wrists
Their magic made up the weakness of their fists
Without one in the party their presence was missed

Now Troubadours, my own kind, brought cheer and gave mirth
Both menfolk and ladies were the salt of the earth
Our songs boosted the party and proved our own worth
In returning the Labyrinth’s beasts to the earth

From foreign lands the mysterious Ronin hail
Their skill with swords came also from that unknown vale
They’ll fight down to the last [woman] with tooth and with nail
And flay the beasts’ hide empty of stinger and scale

The rarely spotted Hexer controls with a word
The curses [she] let fly with are the last things heard
By [her] command, monsters to suicide are spurred
When recruiting, placement on the back line’s preferred

To start things off, here’s the team leader:

Name: Allison Kat Andrea
Profession: Dark Huntress
Position: Mostly top
Age: 27
Bio: A rathy bossy gal, whose parents couldn’t decide between “Allison,” “Kat,” and “Andrea” so they picked All of the Above. Goes by Andrea because Allison and Kat are names for simpering, perpetually distressed damsels who’re probably sissy medics to boot. Andrea is not a simpering, perpetually distressed damsel whose probably a sissy medic to boot, and any suggestions otherwise is a shortcut to a smarting bottom. She is laser focused on exploring the Labryinth, and doesn’t have the time or patience for silly things like “fun,” “friendship,” or “stress relief.” No one knows [I]why[/I] she’s so obsessed with the Labryinth, and asking her only leads to a brusque “That’s my business.” She thinks having mysterious motives makes her a deep, three-dimensional heroine. They do not.

Her mother had this to say: “Eh, she’s probably just looking for an excuse to get out of the house. Thank goodness, too. I love my little Aly, but she’s incapable of doing the simplest of chores without a bottom warming first. All she wants to do is play with her whips. Which is silly, by the way. Proper young ladies become medics.”

You can make your suggestion less or more detailed as you prefer. If I can get enough suggestions to form a full party, I’ll consider interest high enough to justify doing the Let’s Spank.

Note: This will not impact Potion Wars. I’ll be playing/writing for Etrian Odyssey during time that I wouldn’t normally spend on Potion Wars anyway.

Two steps forward, one step back (or maybe two steps back…)

Spankers and Spankees,

I’ve posted a new version under Downloads. Just like my last few posts, this just contains a few tweaks:

1. I’ve reduced the hitpoints of your enemies (including the dungeon boss) by a few points to make the combats go a bit faster (and make the boss fight a bit easier).

2. I’ve removed the Song of Roland from the tavern scene. That scene is obnoxiously long as it is, and the Song of Roland doesn’t really fit in a festive tavern atmosphere like that. It’s not gone permanently. I’ll probably have Elise sing it at hers and Roland’s wedding as sort of a wedding present, or something. I don’t know. The point is, I’m not removing it so much as moving it into a part of the game that I haven’t written yet.

3. I’ve also rewritten the pillow talk the male player has with Carrie after sex. I wrote the original dialogue just before posting the first version of the game, and I had originally conceived of it as a subplot for Carrie. However, subsequent discussions with Emily led to a much better (and sillier) subplot for Carrie. We’ve got enough angst flying around as it is, and the dialogue didn’t really fit with Carrie’s character anyway.

You can find the link in Downloads, as always.

Anyway, on to progress on episode 2. First, Emily has agreed to help me write spanking scenes, in addition to her other duties of reading obscenely long e-mails from me. Therefore, we’ll actually have F/M scenes now, since I can foist the writing of those scenes onto Emily.

Second, we’re currently at about 76 pages, and a little over 130 nodes. Not as much progress as I’d like, but I’ve had a lot of trouble writing the scene where the player wakes up in Maria’s home. It’s been one of those write two lines, erase three types of things. I think I’ve finally got something that’s flowing naturally.

Furthermore, that damned LaTeX-to-Python translation script is spanking me like a naughty schoolgirl. I’ve tried three different approaches to writing the damned thing, and every single time it’s dissolved into an impossible to maintain morasse of kludges and workarounds. Basically, I keep trying to be too clever, and then running into all sorts of corner cases. This time around I’m doing things properly with a lexer, parser, etc.

On a happier note, I’ve recently learned about the magic of graphics toolkits, and I’ve found two that look like they’re meant to be used with Pygame. What is a graphics toolkit? Well, basically it gives me a scaffolding for constructing GUI’s. My current GUI is very low-level, which is why it’s so static and shitty. With the aid of a toolkit, not only will creating the GUI be easier, but it will also be much more stable, and I’ll be able to do more complicated things behind the scenes that lead to an easier-to-use interface. I’m not going to start working with these toolkits until episode 3, because I’ve got enough other things to program for episode 2, and I’d like to release episode 2 sometime this century.

However, I have started sketching out interface options during lunch, and I’m really excited about that.

Finally, as a little reward for reading this far: It has come to my attention, based on conversations with Emily and Jeffrey the Jungle Ape that people may not know about a certain scene involving Ildri. Basically, before you see the Kitchen scene, try wearing baring underwear (such as a thong. I believe the lacy panties are also baring. It should say in the underwear description), and no pants/skirt/dress. Basically the only thing covering your lower body should be a pair of panties that don’t do a good job of covering your ass.